Monday 10 October 2011

There's been a Hijack!


It is I, Long Suffering Husband (LSH) and thought it was time I hijacked the blog and told the world what it is like to live in the turmoil which is Funky Sprogs.

Sorry, did I say turmoil? Obviously I meant 'thriving cottage industry' but for the sake of brevity, lets call it turmoil. Toni may disagree but she doesn't see it from my viewpoint. Let me give you an example. I was in hospital last week – nothing serious, just chopping a couple of tubes – and I was close to having to explain that the track marks on the soles of my feet were NOT from illicit drug use because the veins in my eye's couldn't take any more injections, but the result of the numerous pins, safety pins and needles which are routinely scattered over the floor in the dining room.

You know the scene in any bank heist film when they're moving towards the vault down the corridor with the lasers in it and they're hopping from foot to foot to avoid triggering the alarm? Now imagine doing that whilst carrying a cup of coffee.... That's me, the LSH!

Being the LSH does have its advantages. The football/rugby/cricket is available to record and can be played back whilst the production line is in full swing and without a murmur of complaint, in fact you may even get the occasional offer of a beer from an absent wife. A disreputable LSH would also utilise the periods of childcare responsibility whilst his wife was at a craft fair to watch Match of the Day from the previous night, but not me... ever.... honest... and the kids love watching Gary Lineker.

I do love the output from the production line. I'm style blind though and I can't claim any credit for the designs – Toni has the style genes and thankfully she has passed them on to our son, Dominic, who can be relied on for an honest and uncannily accurate assessment of anything he is presented with. I do think Toni could ask me and then just do the opposite but hey, it makes Dominic feel useful.

I love the enthusiasm that Toni has for Funky Sprogs and don't begrudge the place it has in our lives and the fact it takes her away from me on occasions, though less than my job does.

Do I feel excluded? No. Am I long suffering? On occasions. Do I get to watch the footy? Definitely!

LSH

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